Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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