i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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