Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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