I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
