Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Randomize
