She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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