haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize