god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
