Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
