its not stalking. its research.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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