I wish life had little blips of pornography
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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