I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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