I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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