I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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