Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
