when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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