You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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