Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
