It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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