nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
