The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
