That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING