Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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