if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho