It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.