I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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