There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
