i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
