I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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