I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
