he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
