i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
