I got chris browned last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
