I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
