Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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