I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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