So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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