Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
