Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
