You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize