thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
