i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
