dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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