Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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