First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
