im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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