Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
