We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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