Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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