This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm passing your future prison.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
