im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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