You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
