Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
that's an acceptable place to lick
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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