Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
