Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
