At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
