She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As shirtless as possible
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
