Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
