Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
