He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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