I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
