She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
